acting out: caring for #mentalhealth before it shows out
“Dave Chappelle Attacked While Performing at the Hollywood Bowl” ~NY Times
“Will Smith slaps Chris Rock on the stage of The Oscars” ~CBS News
“Woman who jumped from NYC high-rise identified as Miss USA 2019 Cheslie Kryst” ~NY Post
“I’m sorry she couldn’t hang on until today.” ~Ashley Judd/Vancouver Sun
I did not watch the Oscars in March. When I woke up the following morning, checking social media after meditating and my other morning rituals, I saw a post from The Root stating something like, “Congratulations to Will Smith. There will be a lot of posts today about him, but for now we celebrate his win.” So, I thought there was more chatter about his marriage — but then I continued to scroll, and was like, “Noooooo …” (Yes, I believed it was real the first time I watched.) By the afternoon, I was ready to post my thoughts on Facebook:
“i keep thinking that was a long walk (in the context of the situation) both from and returning to his seat
and that there seemed to have been a conscious choice of slapping rather than punching ...
and that i'm glad i'm not the one on anyone's team having to decide what the next steps are
and that it seems so far that the powers that be have treated all involved with the same privilege that we think would have been afforded to those of european descent
and that this reminded me of the storyline when Malik hit the wheelchair-bound character in "The Game" as well as the choices available to Black men (or not - in all contexts) when faced with what to do to defend their (not possessive) women (loved ones) - a la CRASH (the movie)
and that we live in a naturally violent world (earthquakes, tornadoes, hurricanes, how animals kill in the wild for food, how babies enter this world, how surgery (not so natural) is a part of modern medicine, etc)
and that we live in a condoned/celebrated violent culture (sports like football + boxing, roasting + comedy as entertainment, certain video games, etc)
and that we should not expect human beings always to "rise above" emotional responses - reactions even - to what they experience as harmful/hurtful/injurious, etc., and consider that to be the classy/right thing to do (especially expecting individuals to ascend (take responsibility for) the collective culture in which we're all conditioned) - for that is a denial of harm and is also a violent act
and that we all have breaking points
and that all of our actions/behaviors have consequences/a price
and that public figures are human beings as well
and that it's possibly regretful (depends on the eventual outcome(s)) that all of last night's achievements may always be connected to (overshadowed by?) the incident
and this would be a year i did not watch an event live ...”
IDK about the mental health of the person who tackled Dave Chappelle. Cheslie Kryst’s parents recently appeared on Red Table Talk to share a bit from Ms. Kryst’s text to her mother, the persistent sadness with which she lived. Naomi Judd shared in an interview with Robin Roberts that she’d been diagnosed with depression that was resistant to treatment. Recent reports share that Mr. Smith is in therapy.
Alllll of that … to share here that with May being Mental Health Awareness Month, the phrase “acting out” came to mind, how when I was growing up our parents used either to warn us (before going out in public) or scold us (after the fact) about our behavior. They’d say, “You betta not ask for nothin’ in this store, an’ ya betta not act out when I say no to you askin’ when ya shouldnaht asked in the first place because I said …” Or. They’d say while doling out punishment, “That’s whatcha get for showin‘ out like you ain’t got no home trainin’ …”
Then immediately I reflected again on these more public, most tragic ways we can act out our pain.
Even when we try so hard to stuff down the pain, ignore it — even heal it, The Body Keeps the Score and Feelings Buried Alive Never Die.
This month we amplify talk therapy as a pathway to healing — one pathway among several. Sometimes, we need other pathways — and not necessarily pharmaceutical medication — to affect our nervous system and other places in our bodies that hold trauma, that hold our pain, that do not necessarily release it when we only talk about it.
I began talk therapy in college, and continued to engage it as needed personally, and regularly for my profession as a pastor. In the mid 2000s, I hit a wall in our sessions, and my therapist introduced me to brainspotting, a then recent development to access unprocessed trauma. Can you say breakthrough!? 🤗
Eastern medicine and other non-Western traditions utilize energetic pathways to participate in our healing. (I regard and experience yoga completely differently now. 😊🌻) During awareness months like this one, I hope we’ll explore all the ways available to us to be healthy and whole.
May it be so.
Visit nami.org to learn more about Mental Health Awareness Month, and how to get involved with ways to support mental health in your community.
If you’re in pain or know of someone else in pain, help is available. Speak with someone today: National Suicide Prevention Lifeline available 24/7 in English and Spanish: 800–273–8255.
Everything — including our feeling and our pain — has a frequency. Tending to that can be helpful and healing. Check out Frequency and Vibrational Tuning.
Sound baths are another way to heal via frequency. Places like The HoneyPot Energy & Art in Atlanta host sound bath events. Learn more + search for one in your community.
Finally, energy healing (like Reiki) is also another way to heal our trauma/pain. Check out Kela on Fiverr.
Asé.
© 2022, candi dugas, llc
